Dr. Rich's Melheimian Maxims

Daddy's Little Girl

Well, the Maniacal Melheimian Mystery Tour is history. I'm cleaning up files and piles and plans and thoughts. Lot's of wonderful folks, late nights, and conspiracies and hopes and dreams.

And ideas to ponder.

(Like I need one more idea to ponder).

I need time to digest it all before dreaming out loud about 2010 and beyond.

Herb Brokering's funeral was amazing Saturday. It made remember something I forgot. He'd always ask people to look deeper and deeper into the simplest of things: "What do you see" and "what else did you see?" and "is that all?"

A good question to ask kids, artists, problem-solvers, and problems.

Again and again and again.

The big news: My sweet girl, Kathryn Elizabeth, turned 21 yesterday. We surprised her with a highly recommended Canon Rebel and by showing up to watch her play bass with her worship band at Faith Lutheran in West Fargo, followed by a dinner party, balloons, a very chocolate cake with candles and  lunch. 

Four hours of driving there. One hour of church. One hour of lunch. Four hours of driving home.

I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

I've only got one little girl.

Herb Brokering is Dead; Herb Brokering is Alive

He could hear God in the hum of an electrical junction box.

He could see and sing God in a little rock.

He cried on the Berlin Wall when it went up. He danced on the wall when it came down.

He talked us into sticking our noses up against to the pine trees outside Wartburg Castle and licking - yes licking - the walls of the Luther's office.

He had Deke  - a sophomore in our group - take his shirt off and lay on the cold stone floor of the Erfurt Cloister to imagine how Luther felt when he stripped down and took his vows.

He sent Ute, our communist youth guide, away to purchase river boat tickets and, the moment she left, broke the bread and wine and blue jean gifts out, gathered a crowd and celebrated Holy Communion in the center of Alexander Platz in East Berlin.

He talked the blind organist, Herr Fogel (Mr. Bird) into a late night concert for our group in Bach's church on Bach's organ 25 feet above Bach's buried bones at St. Thomas Kirke, Leipzig.

He sat alone and sad and worn in the airport in New Orleans after a national youth gathering where he told me he felt "pushed to the side and thrown away... as if I had nothing left to offer."

Damn those ingrates. Bless those ingrates.

He fumed over a cup of coffee at Perkins in Bloomington - our annual gathering spot - over how frustratingly difficult it was to get anything published by his church publishing house.

Damn those idiots. Bless those idiots.

The closest thing to an Old Testament prophet walking the earth died November 7.

My friend. My mentor. My example. My, my, my....

Little rock, little rock

Where have you been?

Little rock, little rock

What have you seen?

When the earth was hot and new

Where you you, rock, where were you

Little rock, little rock

Where have you been?

Come to Central Lutheran at 2 on the 21st and celebrate Herb.

Herb Brokering is dead.

Herb Brokering is alive.

I doubt I'll ever meet another quite like him.

PS - I'll post Herb's voice and a dozen recorded prayer journey poems he wrote for me, one a week, from now until they run out. Then I'll have to start writing some myself again.

The Origins of FINK: A Brief History

I've often been asked for the short story on how and why FINK started. Long story. Here's my short answer:

1. I had a mom who played classical music all day, read scripture daily, read stories daily, said our prayers with us every night and sang us to sleep
2. I had a dad who knocked on doors to build a mission church and still had time to tell me stories every night
3. I was always a bored kid - maybe ADHD or dyslexic without knowing it – and had to go to “special class” for reading, but always liked to draw stories and would narrate my stories for my mom to write down before I could personally write a word
4.  I loved God, but hated sitting listening to people lecture me in church (ie, I was a boy)
5. As a young person I loved Bible camp (I ended up working at one for 5 summers and met my beautiful wife Arlyce there 35 years ago... not a bad connection)
6. When I became a parish pastor, I always wondered why camp worked and confirmation class didn’t
7. I tried to get church to be more like camp (small groups, music, games, skits, servanthood... And a counselor who loves kids... But isn’t gone at the end of the summer)
8. Two suicides of two boys I’d known from 6th – 12th grade in my first youth group changed me from trying to do camp at church alone to experimenting with building a cohesive team of youth workers who loved God, liked kids, and were willing to incubate
9. Replacing a youth pastor who committed suicide at a large church changed me from running parentless programs to trying to do parent-engaged processes
10. Having two children of my own (after 5 years of infertility at the Mayo Clinic) made me want to be a good dad AND THE faith mentors for my own children
11. Writing an article called "Conformation (sic!) is Dead" in 1993 launched me out on a one year, 75 city sabbatical to talk about better educational systems (I'm still on my sabbatical) My mantra then: "We don't need a better workbook. We need a better way."
12. Having 275 churches immediately decide to scrap their confirmation programs and ask how, when and what to teach got me scrambling to figure that out
13. Getting criticized as “confirmation lite” by the seminaries of the church sent me into process systems thinking and brain-based systems designs on an arts-based platform
14. Going personally $250K into debt for the ministry (on credit cards with a double mortgage on the house) made me read a few business books, too
15. And, as I wind up my last It’s our 15th year anniversary at FINK with a 79 city tour in the next two weeks, one more thing has become apparent: Call this the...
    
    Brief History of FINK's FUTURE:
    
    We’ve spend the bulk of the last 15 years trying to change from a “classroom” to a “community” model of learning. From left-brain lecture to whole-brain relationships. From opening the workbook to opening the kid. From filling in the blanks in workbooks to filling in the blanks in lives. We’ll spend the next 15 years trying to bring the church home. Less program. More process. Less parentless-professional ministry. More parent-engaged priesthood.
    
    Every night. Every home.

Building the Yurt

What does it take to get from here (above) to there (below) in a day?  Click Here and find out.

Can't Buy That

We had a marvelous, full, regenerating Colorado week with three car-loads of childhood "Our Redeemers"  friends and their families. The Melheims, Webbs, Ryens, Gauches and Stanz families enjoyed the hospitality of the Nordhagens at their cabin near Howard, CO. We started with a Rockies Game, then traveled along the Arkansas River to our home for the week on a lot that used to be Calcite, CO and now is the Nordhagen family retreat.

Monday was an exploring day. And eating. Tuesday we built a yurt. And ate. Wednesday we rafted the Arkansas. And ate a lot more. Thursday we sand duned and hiked to a high mountain waterfall before resting in a hot spring and playing pionoccle and eating. Friday we four-wheeled the mountain roads, cleaned up, and said goodbye to half the group. And ate. Saturday we made it home with fond memories, a few extra pounds, and a ton of gratitude and thankfulness to have a "family" that's a whole lot larger than most enjoy.

These were my best friends from my childhood and high school days. I've known them since 4th grade. These were my brothers and sisters from my home church where we all came to faith together at camps, on youth trips, around the altar on Monday nights at our teen fellowship/worship time, and thorugh performing musicals and leading worship at little Montana churches who couldn't afford supply preachers.

Having their fun, faith, and love infect my kids has been one of the most satisfying experiences of my adult life.

You can't buy that.

Sparking

Rich,

I wanted you to know how thankful we are that you came our way this year! Here's a little something to pass on to your network:

     I first attended a Faith Inkubators class with you in 1996  when he came Alabama. I brought two members of my church with me and we all loved the program. From there, we introduced to the church and it took off like firecrackers for our confirmation program.

Fast forward to last week when you came to our church and shared of you work and knowledge from these past 20 years. All of us were amazed and it set off a spark with my confirmation leader and myself. 

While our church has been using Faith Inkubators confirmation program for a while and a few stepping stones in the past, we hadn't really pushed the 5 parts as much as we should have. I had never done the highs and lows with my own children but that night I went home and had highs and lows with my 7 year old Samuel before bed.

In  little less than a week, it has become something we both look forward to.  The night before last it was too late to do it before bed so this morning I asked Samuel his highs and lows. After he shared with me, I shared that my high was getting to spend time with him and his brother and that my low was that I was sad for a friend whose mom would probably die in a few days.  After I said that, Samuel leaned over and hugged me!  He told me tonight that his high was getting to spend time with me and his dad.
I bless both of my boys every night as I had been doing before with their prayers but now we have added a much need piece of sharing our highs and lows. I know that this will become part of our nightly ritual for years to come.

Thanks so much for sparking our brains and stirring us up for connecting with our church kids as well as with our own children in such a special way. 

Blessings,
Mary Armstrong-Reiner
co-pastor, Resurrection Lutheran church
Bloomington, Il

Fargo Flood Prayers

PLEASE pray for Fargo's flood fight.

The river level will likely be higher this time than ever before recorded.

My daughter, a student at Concordia, my sister-in-law Amy Kippen (www.growinfaith.org), my niece Nichole at Oak Grove (right next to the river), and the whole city are all off sandbagging. The town is pretty much shut down to fight this beast.

Parents Accountable?

This just in from my friend Rev Paul Owens from Alpena:

Rich,

Here is a core sound bite of what is coming FROM our parent leaders, and not from the pastor,
but supported by him:) (this congregation is wonderfully firm on the belief that Christianity is essentially a lay movement):

Confirmation boils down to this question: Has my child learned the foundations of the Christian faith and developed healthy habits to indicate they are on their way to a healthy lifelong relationship with
Jesus Christ?....and you (parents) are not accountable to me, the pastors or the other H2H leaders....you are accountable to God.  You made the promise to God at Baptism to teach the foundations and develop healthy habits in your child...and our congregation seeks to support you
in keeping these baptismal promises....at confirmation you are accountable for how you did.

Paul

wow. parents accountable. who woulda thunk it?

This is not my real profession...

Australia in Mourning

Last night I Skyped with our friend and colleague Peter Eckerman about his work as director of Faith Inkubators/Australia. The fires there have become a national tragedy. 300 possible dead. Mass scale Oxygen sucked out of the air for anyone within 200 meters of the 100 meter-high flames.

This morning he sent me a link worth exploring. He writes:

A friend of mine (very clever) put together a very moving av using words from a famous Australian poem.
You can view it here under the heading of Songs of Sadness and Sustaining.

I think it captures something of the Aussie spirit.