Dr. Rich's Melheimian Maxims

Looking for Mystery... Not History

Young people today are not looking for history. They are searching for mystery. They are not hungry for another extracurricular activity. They are starving for meaning.

In "Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers is Telling the American Church" Kendra Creasy Dean writes: We are doing an exceedingly good job of teaching youth what we really believe: namely, that Christianity is not a big deal, that God requires little, and that the church is a helpful social institution filled with nice people focused primarily on ‘folks like us’ – which, of course, begs the question of whether we are really the church at all. Teenagers tend to approach religious participation, like music and sports, as an extracurricular activity: a good, well-rounded thing to do, but unnecessary for an integrated life. What we have been less able to convey to young people is faith."

We haven’t conveyed faith? Woah! Isn’t that at least a part of why we were here? Why we put all the energy and effort into children, youth and family programs over the last fifty years? Why we built the education wing, hired the youth staff, set up all the slick programs?

Thirty-five years ago, a brilliant and prophetic John H. Westerhoff, III hit the nail on its head in his groundbreaking, unheaded, classic, “Will Our Children Have Faith?”:

"The challenge facing the church is in the bland, unconverted, ignorant lives of its members. Until adults in the church are knowledgeable in their faith, have experienced the transforming power of the Gospel, live radical lives characteristic of the disciples of Jesus Christ, no new curriculum, no new teacher-training programs, and no new educational technology will save."    

We wonder why the kids don’t come back?

The Bride of Christ has lost both interest in and passion for her husband. And the children don’t want to come home to such a sad and sorry empty house. They won’t. They can’t.

We saw to it.

They saw through it.

And it’s time to undo it.

Now.

Virtual

Starting Dec. 1, I'm going to try to be office-less and virtual for the first time in 31 years of ministry. Since 99.99% of the ministry is out there (not inside the walls of my office), I'm going to give it a go and see what happens.  I'll still have a space at home, and the Faith Inkubators office will still remain open, but I'm going to infest a coffee shop from time to time, visit folks, and see what it's like for all of 2013.

Anybody tried this already? Any cautions, suggestions or thoughts?

SHARING HIGHS AND LOWS SONG (Romans 12)

MV0280RejoiceWeepPray

Here's a fun new Bible Song from Garrison Keiler's sound engineer, Tony Axel and Kimberly Michaels for our FAITH 5, Step 1: SHARE.

It's got a bit of an infectious "Beverly Hills Cop" sound and can be learned in one pass. Thanks Tony and Kimberly!

(Chorus) Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep

It is now the moment for you to wake from sleep (repeat)

 

Verse 1: Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer...

Verse 2: If your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink...

Verse 3: Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good...

- Romans 12:12, 15, 20, 21 and 13:11  

Faith Inkubators Korea

Download 01 GospelBroadcastKoreaMelheim

Here's a recent interview done with the Gospel Broadcasting Company on FAITH 5.

FAMILY AFFAIR & FAITH 5 (every night in every home)

The cover story in Christian Century today has an interview with me about FAITH 5. Check it out if you are a subscriber. If not, here's a little something to think about.

Why is it time to kill the drop-off parentless Sunday School, rewire worship and education into the same time and space keep parents with their own kids, and add a intentional cross-generational surrogate adoptive grandmas and babies and aunts and uncles and everyone in between in the same space at the same time?

How's this for starters?

1. If you don't worship as a child with your parents, you're probably not going to worship as an adult.

2. Most people will only give you one hour on Sunday morning... (IHS really stands for "1 hour service")

3. If you put worship and education at the same time most adults will never go to education and most kids will never go to worship

4. Most families are doing NO intentional Christian faith talk, prayer, scripture or blessing in the home.

5.  Worship Leaders KNOW that the so-called "contemporary age-segregated let-me-put-on-a-show-for-you" worship service isn't impressing the baby boomers, isn't drawing the baby-busters, and isn't engaging the hearts and minds of the post-television generation.

6. Most Christian education directors get NO time in worship.

7. Most Senior Pastors spend NO time in Children's Ministry.

8. Most of the handouts you give kids to discuss with their parents end up in the trash before they leave the building.

9. A simple model that connects Sunday to Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday/Friday/Saturday and calls parents to include faith encounters in their nightly ritual is better than IHS, because the last few minutes before bed are neurologically the most important time in a human's life to teach something that the brain can then incorporate during sleep.

10. What if Sunday looked like this: Parents and kids and adopted faith families are together in the same space. The key Bible story/theme kicks off with the arts (music, motions, theater, viasual art) After the unveiling, the small faith family group creates arts to reinterpret the theme for one another. During small group time, they also model the FAITH 5 (Share highs and lows; Read the key scripture for the week; Talk about how your highs and lows relate to the scripture; Pray for one another's highs and lows; Bless one another before turning out the lights on the day.) Then they return to show and tell what they've done, share their highest highs and lowest lows as the prayers of the people, pour the wine and break the bread, and do any healing that needs to be done in the context of a small group community who is committed to knowing and praying for one another's highs and lows. And then EVERY WEEK IN EVERY CHURCH a different child is enlisted to call all guests to return to that key Bible story in their nightly bedtime routine as they share the FAITH 5 every night in every home and pray for one another in their own family, in their cross generational faith family, in their church, and in their world. (Pray the headlines every night and you'll raise a different kind of kid.)

F5 from Scotty N

Scott Ness just sent a link to what he's doing with the FAITH 5 in his church. Great stuff!

http://www.stjohnsgc.org/Ministries/SundaySchool/TheFaithFive/tabid/105/Default.aspx#Highs_and_Lows

 

80/20 (Making time count)

I remember a study of twins separated at birth that the University of Minnesota did many years ago. They wanted to find out how much of who you are is nature, and how much of it is nurture. The results were astounding. If I recall this right, one pair of men in their 50s was reunited and tested. Both had married twice to women with the same first names. Both had cats that they named the same name. There were dozens of life choices and mannerisms that were nearly identical between these two men. Other twins had similar experiences. Again, if my memory serves correct, they concluded most of who you are -  between 70 and 80% - is determined by the genes.

Makes you almost wonder if the predestination folks got something right.

Anyway, I've used that little bit of info when talking to parents with troubled kids. (Is that an oxymoron?) If they are blaming themselves and feeling a lot of guilt, I tell them "Hey, you only had 20% to work with!"

I also use it with parents of little ones and preteens. "Hey, you only have 20% to work with! Better make the most of it!"

We have a guest tech intern living with us this summer, the son of my best friend Arlen. Leif is doing music and logging video interviews on the FAITH 5 topics for my new book and October conference. He's sitting in on our Highs and Lows and prayers every night. It's rather wonderful to see his reaction, hear his thoughts, and model together what family might be if we are intentional about keeping the lines of communication open and BEING the church every night.

Hey parents, you've only got 20% to work with. Make it count tonight. Every night!

Weddings, Tornados and Family Time

Back at the cabin after a quick weekend wedding in Colorado. Outdoors under a thundering and threatening sky (omens) my best friend's only daughter married a wonderful young man. The blessing Arlen gave was really touching and beautiful. He choked up and almost didn't make it through. I'm so glad my kids got to hear it.

Back at the cabin now to finish the cartoons for my "Songs of Israel" book. 15 Psalms and parables intersecting. Just had a cup of coffee with the Rev. Patrick Patterson and heard something rather profound. He and his kids had to hightail it to the dark, dingey, cob-webbed basement in their 1880's house for the second tornado warning in two nights on Friday. They sat playing cribbage while the sirens wailed and the wind blew. When the all-clear sounded and Patrick said, "Okay, it's over. Let's go upstairs", his 9-year-old Aaron said, "Couldn't we just stay down here? We never get to be together like this."

Makes you think, don't it? In our over-scheduled, over-stressed, over-programmed world, our children still crave our time.

Does it take a tornado warning to get you together as a family?

Bodies, Cells and Dis-Ease

If the family is the fabric of society, some say our fabric is wearing thin. If families are the cells in the body of a culture, some say that our body is under attack; or at least, in a state of social and ethical dis-ease.

It doesn’t take an expert to see why. Parents are over-stressed, over-committed and under-communicating when it comes to transmitting faith and values. They have little or no regularly scheduled time set aside to talk about things that really matter with their children. An entire generation is being raised by electronic baby-sitters. Children are bombarded by a myriad of messages, many of them violent and negative. They know millions of stories, but they do not know their own parents’ stories. 

At this same moment when our children need the gifts of time, attention, and wisdom the most, the elders of our society are increasingly segregated from them. The Builders who weathered the Great Depression and WWII are soon gone. Mainline churches are withering. Social programs are constantly being down-sized even as our cultural problems are being super-sized. The vehicles that have provided the foundation of faith and values in America since the Pilgrims landed are losing their social significance, membership and cultural clout.

If the body (society) can be no healthier than its cells, we must find new and effective ways to bring health directly to the cells.

avalanches

How do you cause an avalanche? You don’t. You can’t.

You can only set the conditions in place under which an avalanche might occur. You must put the right levers in the right places in the right order with the right pressure at the right time. After that, an avalanche will either happen or it won’t. You can’t force it, but you can work to improve the odds.

How do you cause an avalanche of positive social change? You don’t. You can’t. You can only set the conditions in place that better your odds. The right levers, the right places, the right order, the right pressure, the right time – these create the right conditions.