The Melheimian Sabbatiblog

16 Old FINKs

I put out the word to a bunch of Old FINKs - people who've been with us for years - and a few new FINKs - people who hosted me this year or enjoyed the conspiratorial ideas I'd planted in their heads on my tour.

Things like:

• "We've got to kill the drop off Sunday School before it kills the church" and

• "If I were back in the parish I'd NEVER, EVER, NEVER do confirmation again without the parents sitting right there" and
• "Angie Patel of the Neuroscience Institute says the MIND is the BRAIN meets the BODY meets the ENVIRONMENT. That means if you are just sitting in a chair and aren't getting their BODIES involved actively in the learning (sign language, skits, roll plays, teaching what they've just learned to someone else, jumping up in worship and doing "show and tell") you are losing a third of your mind before you start. It also means if you aren't considering the ENVIRONMENT of your learning space and of your teaching face and of your collective grace, you're losing the other third.

I wanted to gather a set of advisers from the FINK world to walk the mountains, dream new dreams for family ministry, look at the future of the church, and help me process the first 69 cities of my anniversary tour. 

Fall and Aspen seemed like the right time and place. I knew I'd know just enough to think I knew something... but would need to bounce that something off some trusted friends before I blabbed it to the world.

Jeff Linman from Orlando showed up last night. He's in the kitchen at this moment making me an omlet. (Yeah... I flew a chef in from Florida). He's the guy who just built a church in a bowling alley and is dragging people to Burundi - the other Rawanda where 300K Hutus and Tutsies killed each other without any international press. Jeff  ran into a young John Denver look-alike singing in the mountains shortly after he landed. His word for the moment: "There's nothing like a Rocky Mountain high... when you're from Florida.

Guy and Renea Redfield from Chetek, WI (my mom's home church) arrived after almost being snowed out. They're sleeping at the moment.

Amy Kippen's on the way from West Fargo. Amy's got 71% of her dads in Sunday School every week doing Bible Song, and as many adults as children in Sunday School.

Then there's Chris and Chris Matthey. Chris is one of the half dozen pastors I know who got fired for doing FINK. I like people who get fired for being radical enough to tell the parents that they're not going to be their spiritual mercencary any longer.

There's Mark Juliot from Alleluia in Naperville IL, who's church is busting at the seams with some of our principles. There's Paul Mattson from a little church in the rural world of Crosby MN who's partnering with another church down the road and doing the same. Dana Peterson from Fort Collins who helps us try to merge DNA with Youth Encounter a few years ago. (It bombed, but hey, it's all a learning experience and as Wayne Gretsky used to say "I missed 100% of the shots I didn't take.")

There's Chritine Otte from Norfolk NE, Phil Geleske from Coppell TX, Mary and Charles Miller from Kings Mt NC, Scott Ness from Grove City OH, Erik Feig from Prince of Peace in Burnsville MN, and Rick Lund, who just left Bethel in Madison to re-FINK a small church 20 miles from the city.

Wonderful folks. Wonderful space. Wonderful time.

I wonder what will happen this week.

(The photo above was yesterday in Ann Arbor, as we donned shades and sang "Look Toward the Heavens" in worship with the kids as worship leaders before my sermon.)

Trish in Texas

     

  

    

 

Here's a few photos from the Texas conferences, plus little something from one of the parents at my Coppell event the other night:

Rich,

I wanted to express my appreciation for the Comedy Night you held at Rejoice in Coppell, TX.  The boys (Brett & Blake) and I had a marvelous time, I wish there were more events such as these for parents and kids.  We just don't get enough opportunities to laugh with our kids.  The boys are busy pestering me each evening for their pillow fight and Faith 5.  My 4 year old has carried his bible song book with him since we brought it home and shown it to anyone he can find.  The interesting thing for me is how quickly Blake accepted you.  You see he is a shy child and will rarely let anyone near him but yet he jumped up immediately when you told him it was time to learn kick boxing.  My 7 year old told me yesterday afternoon that if I didn't have 5 minutes for him then he didn't have 5 cents for me.  Quite the eye opener as I realized I had been ignoring him while trying to get some things done.  We've used several of your sayings and chuckle each time.  Please know that you will be in our prayers and we have been greatly blessed by the time you have shared with us.

Sincerely,

Patty, Brett & Blake Zubritski

Friedman Plus

 

Hey FINKS,

Well, my Mac took it upon itself to fry the hard drive in Nashville last week, so a quick visit to the Genius Bar (and they are) left me computerless from there to home yesterday. I've got a brand new Mac now, and will be a raving Mac fan for life. In the meantime, I missed posting about Nashville, St. Louis, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Mankato. Suffice it to say, they were all marvelous!

Here's something you might find helpful in case you are trying to change your systems at church and run up against a Christian Ed board who thinks FINK is all fun and games - and looks like too much fun to have any depth and be effective. ("Confirmation Lite?" as old Margret Gritch at Phillie Sem used to tell her students.) It comes in the form of a question that hit me this morning, and my voluminous answer. (Hey, I've been Mac-less for a week. I deserve to wax a bit. It just feels so good to be typing again!)

Rich,
I would be interested to hear more about your family systems focus. Are you referring to Bowen/Friedman systems theory? I am seeking ways to apply this to all areas of ministry...

Thanks!
Tom

Hey Tom,

Okay, you asked for it.

Friedman was pivotal in my early systems work, but...

It all started with a mom and dad who loved me, read to me, and had home devotions every night.

It moved from my little world to a broader world at Bible camp, where I learned that faith could come out of the book and into your life in powerful ways when music, skits, games, servanthood and the arts were combined with the love and care and fun of a small group. (And a few cute girls.)

It moved from there to my dozen parish pastor years, where I tried to combine home with education with worship, and make them all LOOK like Bible camp. My biggest struggle was trying to find effective ways to pull in parents into the process of their own kids faith lives.

Therein lies the rub. And that's the aim of my next 15 years of ministry. The first 15 at FINK were focused on making the PROGRAM better at church. The next will be focused on bringing it home in simple, elegant, fun and effective ways.

If the biggest piece of the faith incubation system is the parents, then we've got to get to them or we'll be missing our most important asset.

You can't fix a broken system by ignoring the most important piece.

First things first.

Now, back to Friedman for a moment. I tend to call the FINK approach "Friedman Plus." In building our model for family ministry, I tend to combine his "Generation to Generation" family systems thought with:

1. The systems theory of MIT’s Peter Senge (The Fifth Discipline)
2. The educational philosophy of Bill Glasser (The Quality School/Schools Without Failure)
3. The social engineering of Malcom Gladwell (The Tipping Point/Blink)
4. The experiential pizzazz of Pine and Gilmore (The Experiece Economy)
5. The dance/movement philosophy of Carla Hanniford (Smart Moves)
6. The arts philosophy of Betty Edwards (Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain)
7. The brilliance of my good friend Dr. He Qi
8. An absolute fascination with his childhood idol Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood)
9. And a love of music, the theater, dance and the visual arts.

I combined all that with my own infectious enjoyment of humor as a learning tool, an intense curiosity of the neurology, psychology, and sociology of learning and a deep desire to harness and drive the latest technologies of learning into the hands of children.

And, if you want to go deeper and Google to your heart's delight...

My understanding of a child’s acquisition of knowledge is influenced by Piaget and Vygotsky’s theories on cognitive development. Both believed that children are active participants in learning new knowledge.  Piaget’s constructivist approach (assimilation and accommodation) focused on four stages of cognitive development (sensorimotor and preoperational stages are characteristic of young children). Vygotsky focused on the transitions from one stage to the other (Zone of Proximal Development) and believed that the construction of knowledge can be socially mediated by adults and peers.  The teacher and peers can be agents of scaffolding the child’s current knowledge to new concepts of learning. 

My thinking about children’s social emotional development is guided by Maslow’s theory of a hierarchy of basic needs and Erikson’s theory of a sequence of issues that need to be resolved for healthy development (Eight Stages of Man).

Smilansky’s research on how children learn through play and the four types of play (functional, constructive, dramatic or pretend play and games with rules) all play a central influence in the design of everything PIP is creating – from the curriculum as a whole, to the delivery systems for information, down to the daily schedules. 

Reggio Emilla’s work influences our project’s thinking about the importance of art and architecture as a symbolic language. In our building design and teaching space, the room is, indeed, the third teacher.

(Clear out the crap from your Sunday School rooms, please! Take everything out of the room, wash the walls down, paint them bright white and only put back a couple of beautiful pieces of art that you will focus on today!)

Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences is embedded throughout our learning experiences, planning, curriculum, and technology designs. You've got to understand and embraces the fact that each child AND parent is different and unique. The project honors these differences by designing resources that take into account the various learning styles and cognitive abilities of children.

Eric Jensen’s work on brain-compatible teaching has had a foundational influence on our arts-based processes, platforms and learning products. Every aspect of this project – from the colors on the walls to the beat frequency of the music during new information acquisition, to the size and shape of the learning environment, to the ebb-and-flow of the scheduled days, weeks and units, to the cartoons to the curriculum and online home resources – all of these pieces are designed with the neurology of the young mind in mind.

Add Gail Godwin: "Good teaching is 1/4 preparation and 3/4 theater", George Bernard Shaw: "If you're going to tell the truth, you'd better make them laugh or they'll kill you",  Pablo Picasso: "Art is the lie that helps you see the truth", and our friend Wm. Shakespeare: "The play's the thing whereby I'll catch the conscience of the king."

As you study what we do at FInK, you’ll see that everything we create is brain-based learning built on an arts-based platform. Scripture music, movement, theater and visual arts are engaging means to impact intelligences often overlooked and under-utilized in traditional educational programs. In FINK all learning is presented TO the children AND their parents through the arts, then explored, dissected, rebuilt, and re-presented BY the children and their parents through the arts.

We want to open the kid BEFORE we open the book. We want to retain the kid AND the information. We want to fill in blanks in lives... not just workbooks.

And we want everything we do on Sunday or Wednesday to go home into a nightly home huddle seven nights a week.

So... is that enough for you a Tuesday morning?

(-;

rich

(PS I'm at Esperanza in Phoenix, AZ Wednesday the 10th, Messiah in Yorba Linda, CA on Thursday the 11th, St. Andrews Presbyterian on Friday the 12th, and Christ in Mililani, Hawaii on the 13th. Then it's Napa, Las Vegas, Sammamish, WA, Kalispell, MT, Park City, UT, and Wheat Ridge, CO before getting home for church on Father's Day. Come on over!)

Judy Takes Good Notes

Judy Wiles at Crossroads UMC, my Friday host, took a great set of notes and reflections after our conference there on Friday. In case you're coming to one of my conferences in Nashville, Lake St. Louis, Lincoln, Sioux Falls or Mankato this week and you'd rather listen than write, Judy has done all your work for you below. Thanks Judy!

Faith Ink Thoughts

What is priority for our church?
    Families as faith forming centers?
    Circles as the main form of church?
Use Priority time and space for priority goal.

Deficiencies in church:
    Systems Problem that has developed over time.
    People leaving the church.
    People disconnected from God.
    People have lost foundation in scriptures.
    People have given over to the world’s ways.
    Children have little guidance in home.
    People go to the experts for everything – have lost confidence in parenting
    Dads more disconnected than moms
    Relationship with God has been lost for many
    Relationship with kids lost – time spent with kids minimal over time
        Basically – families spend one week a year in real conversation with teens.
    New generation tapped into many sources of communication – interactive with
    these sources.  Want to be involved in learning rather that being talked at.
    Sunday teaching format will not reach younger generation – behind the times for
    them as based on studies from awhile back.  Need shorter teachings and time to
    process and interact with teachings – draw out learning
    Busy area
    1 hour a week not enough to build foundation.
    We’ve lost committed Sunday school leaders over the years – gone form leaders
    That would teach for the year – building relationships with kids in their groups –
    To leaders that will only commit to once a month
    Lost family commitment to kids in faith formation

What we have to work with:
    People deeply love and care about their children.
    Would give their lives for them.
    Educated area that can grasp what has been lost and why.
        History of Sunday school and establishment
    Educated area that could understand the weakening of the church through
        Understanding of the splits in the Christian church – 27000 different
        Christian denominations in US – stuck on little differences and have lost
        Cohesiveness
    Educated Area that can understand sleep and how the mind works during the
        night.
    Educated area that is concerned about changes in the world and what these
    will mean for the next generation.
    Parent’s knowledge of current education methods and the lack of utilizing these
    in the schools and churches…
    Home is where a family spends most of their time together
    Evening is a great time for families to talk about their days, pray, bless… because
    Sleep is a time of absorbing – will tend to absorb most the last things focused on.
    Family time greatly valued because it’s limited in busy society – work with that.

Faith Ink Response:
Families need to be faith-forming centers – this is priority.
Family is where life happens – natural intergenerational group.

Group Learning:
Integrated learning a huge help.
Parents can learn with children.
All Learning methods need to be incorporated
Ideal:  This happens intergenerationally – setting with parents and kids together
    Say the same thing you want someone to learn in different ways – have one main
    thing you want to sink in.
    Different ways include:
        Show and tell for preschool
        Music that’s engaging put to scriptures to aid in memory work
        Sign Language to engage the body
        Stories told with simple illustrations – kids retell stories
        Art that brings story to life – shared with congregation
    Appeals for children in elementary age:
        Cartoons to help tell Bible stories
        Kids retell the stories
        Reader’s theaters etc… other ways to process
        Art to create something of what they are gleaning
        Kids share artwork with whole community and teach adults what they see.
        Games to reinforce what they are learning

Home Practice:
Give kids a Flintstones Vitamin – need to give spiritual vitamin – piece of the rock
‘Take 5’ – 7 Days a week.  Share Highs and Lows, Scripture or story, Talk about connections (let kids connect), Pray for Highs and Lows, Bless the kids
Before bedtime is best – because of memory work that happens as we sleep.

Parenting/Family Guidance from Faith Community:
Stepping Stones – 1st 3 for parents alone – after that, parents and kids meet together.
    great way to instill what can be and “model” what it could look like. 
    Suggestion:  Do Sundays after church – while eating lunch – or Sunday evenings
    with a meal.
    Suggestion:  Stepping Stones could be a way to encourage intergenerational
        worship.

Sunday Mornings:
Ideal:  One place in life where all generations are together. Church needs to take advantage of that.
Intergenerational experience at 9:00 – regular service at 11:00
Follow 4 year Bible teaching plan – to build foundation that has been lost.
Suggestion:   Try this out on a first Sunday – use first Sunday to throw out the
hook with the bait and see what response you get.  In that way – congregation is a part of discernment – and we will know
        If we’re on track if we get response that says, “we should do this!”

Where I see holes or have questions:
Teaching about listening for God – relationship piece.
        Practices of Highs/Lows, Scripture, Talk, Prayer, Blessing are
        a great foundation – If Parents begin to understand the work of
        the spirit of God and how he is with them – bringing life
        through connections – then they are well on their way in their
life with God as a family.  Basically – see need to connect dots of what they are experiencing so the spirit can breath more life
        into the practices.

Opinion: Greater emphasis needed in explaining that
connection in a world far from listening to God and walking in obedience.  It’s foreign to many – so help needed to open the eyes.

Sharing Faith Stories of today and the need for adult relationships to support the journey.   Feel we need to hear the stories of transformation to give us hope and desire of what could be.

Care Ministry needed for those who need more emotional guidance - Support Groups

Suggestion:    This is where circle format of trimester’s idea would fit in.  Stepping
        Stones could be a part of this – as well as other offerings that would
        incorporate the deeper walk.  Short term circles to hit on needed things.

More material needed for Preschool – adaptation would be necessary there.

Raising a Child Who Won't Worship

I'm 29 cities into the 75 city tour and sitting alone in a loud bar somewhere outside of Richmond. It was the only place I could find wireless, as the hotel's wireless didn't work tonight.

I've enjoyed the hospitality of old FINKS Dave and PJ at Phoenix, MD, Bob and Becky in Basking Ridge, NJ,  Cindy in Phoenixville, PA, and just today new FINK Judy at Crossroads UMC in Ashburn, VA, just outside of DC. Richmond tomorrow, then a day off to drive the back roads through the Smokies, then a conference in Lebanon, TN (Nashville) and a meeting with the UMC, Lake St. Louis and a conference with Concordia Publishing, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Mankato with our old CEO FINK Patrick Patterson, then a day off all alone at my cabin before the west coast tour begins.

I'm running into churches who continue to run worship concurrent with Sunday School. They are perpetuating a number of systemic problems and setting their churches up for long-term slow death by doing this.

They are setting up a system where people choose between worship and education, where mothers (mostly mothers) are teaching Sunday Schools and children RARELY see a male faith role model, let alone see their fathers engaging in faith issues with them. They are knocking their heads against the walls to recruit teachers who don't want to be there, and then enabling people to drop their kids off and disengage from their faith lives. They are setting up a system that recruits teachers who never worship, and educating kids who never worship, and making it darn convenient for parents and kids to never talk faith together.

It seems to me that the systems we put in place either bless or curse us.

If you set up a system where children DON'T worship, you will raise a young adult who WON'T worship.

I think there's a better way.

Zionsville & Toledo: Sanctuary

  

Free drugs! Celebrate the highs and lows every night and that's what your kids will get!

 

 The best insight of the last two days: We need to build our houses into a sanctuary for our kids. A holy place set aside for safety in the care and comfort of our love, and the conscious awareness of the presence of God.

That's what I learned in Zionville and Toledo. That and the coolest toy in the world is my new TomTom GPS. If not for it, I'd still be driving around Toledo looking for the church.

Home for Mother's Day, then back to Farmington Hills (Detroit), Jenison (Grand Rapids), Dayton (At the UMC's United Theological Seminary), and Bay City (Cleveland). Come on over!

Des Moines & Davenport

How old do you have to be to learn Bible verses in sign language?  To give a blessing touch? To learn that you are welcome in God's family?

 

 

We had a wonderful day with Angie Witmer at Plymouth UCC. Angie's the crackerjack pastor who is shaking up the church. She and her team installed all 8 Faith Stepping Stones at once at Plymouth, and is changing the culture and shape of Christian education. She and her husband Paul hosted me on their anniversary! (Kudos, sacrifice and thanks!) More photos from Angie on her Facebook page.

We had Lutherans, Nazarenes, Discples of Christ, Episcopalians, and UCC all in one spot! Fun, fun, fun. Then it was on to Davenport and a great day with Lutherans and Methodists, hosted by Todd Hunter. Today Zionsville, IN, tomorrow Toledo, Saturday Summersville, SC, then home for Mother's Day and a little break. If you know anyone in these areas send 'em over to www.faithink.com/training and invite them to the evening event. We're having a blast!

Here's what a Faith Stepping Stones blessing service looks like when the whole church is involved, laying on hands, and praying for parents.

 

  Way to go Angie!

1600 Penn

This is where I began my campaign in 1993, on the "75 City Tour" that launched Faith Inkbuators.

Greetings from Down Under

Hey Folks,

I'm three weeks into our Australian tour. We've covered about 12,000 kilometers thus far. Thursday it's off to New Zealand for an ecumenical conference on Faith Inkubator thinking. The full report (and some fun photos) can be found at:

http://web.mac.com/mlysne1/Site/Welcome.html

The Sabbatical Mansion

A lot of you have been wondering about the mansion we are living in while out here in Colorado. I thought I'd include a photo of it in our Christmas card this year, just so you all know where you'll be staying if you come to visit us.
Happy Advent!  Rich