Parents = Role Models

I wanted to share a story with you seen making the rounds via the internet lately. My friend and fellow ministry partner, Drew Tiedtke, in Occonomowoc,WI sent it to me. I think it provides some food for thought about the role parents play in the life of their children.
We, as parents, indeed are role models each and every day of our lives for our children more than we’ll ever know.

The question? What is it we are role modeling? 

I would believe that you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, and even a year from now.  I believe I will.  We are raising our children to be parents.  What is the example we want to set?

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table.  But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. 'We must do something about father,' said the son. 'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'  So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.  Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl!

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?'  Just as sweetly, the boy responded, 'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.  That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

We can make choices as role models. Support in making those choices, especially in relation to the physical, emotional, and spiritual well being of our children is important. In the context of the congregation, who gives parents tools to be faith role models for their children and how do we reach them?
I believe we need help. I certainly did! It involves the leadership, adult role models in the congregation who can be there when we have questions, becoming part of a support group through prayer, and intentionality.

What was learned by the writer of the story about the wooden bowl?
Here are a few insights from the unknown writer:

1.  No matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. 

2. You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. 

3. Regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. 

4. Making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life.' 

5. Life sometimes gives you a second chance.

6. You shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

7. If you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

8. Whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

9. When I have pains, I don't have to be one.

10.  Everyday, you should reach out and touch someone.

11. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

12. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I would add:
13. Touching base with a faith family every week in a congregation and allowing yourself to be nurtured, prayed for, and supported by others makes a difference.

14. Intentionally beginning faith practices in your home and bringing everyone in the household together at least once a day to share Highs & Lows, read scripture, talk about it, pray together, and bless one another changes family life forever.

As Paul says in Ephesians, Parents and children should be responsible to one another:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ – this is the first commandment with a promise: ‘so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.’” Ephesians 6:1-3 

This verse speaks not only to the children, but to parents as well. We, as parents, are the ones on whose shoulders lies the responsibility of “a promise”.

Thanks for this reminder Drew!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good, long life on the earth!